Having a horrible night sleep meant that overthinking got the best of me. I woke up to see posts of mental health awareness week.
So I cant remember when exactly, but the reason I started this page a year ago is because of having anxiety. I haven’t wrote as much, but wish I had more time to engage with this website. I just want to say quickly, for those of you with any mental illness like depression, bipolar, anxiety or anything at all…keep fighting guys!
I decided this morning when I woke up that I wasn’t going to let the overthinking win, I never ever felt like this before. I thought “I’m not going to let them win” the people who hurt me real bad, so much I couldn’t leave the house so many years ago are the ones I am not going to let win. When I overthink or want to be on my own instead of in a room full of crowded people, Its because I fail to let myself be me. I overthink in situations. When I’m low I get real low and don’t know how to get high again.
Why should I let those people win that hurt me so bad years ago, I’m a fighter and they wont win. Ill keep smiling. For those that are trying to reach out to you, Pour your soul out to them, let the world see who you are and by being your authentic self its much better to live freely. The people that still love you want to be let in so don’t push them out. Its not EASY to stop feeling low. But what is easy, is taking small steps that become big ones. Physically get up, take a small step, then mentally, adjust it to a smile, a conversation, a small gesture like stepping outside, its a small physical step, a small mental step, a big change later on in life.
Don’t get me wrong, bad days come and go, but having anxiety means you cant control when you overthink. I have social anxiety and id rather see the exit of a class room than talk in front of the class. Id rather have a bath and a peaceful night sleep than lay there awake for two hours. I would rather go into a shop with 10 people being there rather than 100 others.
For those of you ever in a position where you feel lonely remember there are helplines (I’ve never used them before) the best support system I have is my family even though I don’t tell them everything, when I’m down and they don’t realise it, the closeness between us and the laughing makes me feel okay again… and most of all there is the small things in life that only you find enjoyable that in small moments make you smile again (like watching the Ellen show).
Start freeing yourself by taking tiny steps and making small adjustments and also remember there is one race – the human race and even though people try and pull so many differences out of the human population- there are many more similarities- for instance the fact we have a mind, the fact we think, worry, love and mental awareness week goes to show, you’re not alone, free yourself xxxxx